Do you believe in Fate? I’ve had a discussion about it a few times with several different people. It’s hard to say exactly about fate and karma, but I do know that there is this increasing list of signs that are slowly getting me to think that 1. There is most definitely a God, and 2. He is mocking me.

There are so many patterns in my life. Aside from The Dave List and such, there are so many things that are so consistent it weirds me out. Rob joked about how I’m really just a machine running clockwork. I like it as a joke, but I’m not as much a fan when I’m actually trying to do something. Did you know there’s a pattern on how often/when I actually see D? Or that there’s a pattern where I can predict which day of the month I know I can expect a text? In the nearly 2 years that I’ve known him, I’ve only been off once in a prediction- by less than a day. This is what happens when I get to analyze my life.

That being said, I talked to D again the other day. That was interesting because I just got done telling Rob how it was the longest we went without talking, but then I get a convenient text.  But I went over this idea about watching Archer together. He got back to me and it’s probably not going to work out. [Try to break the schedule but it doesn’t work out and we’re back to where we were.] That part is fine, but here’s the funny thing. Shortly after the discussion about my trip out to Erie, I get a text from Eric that reads, “Hey let me know if you are headed to Erie anytime soon. I’m out of hot dogs.” My first reaction was to laugh only because of the coincidental factor and timing of everything lately.

I go between hating him and myself. I’m sure it’s more in my head than anything, but I’ve seen to many romantic movies where my expectations are unrealistic.  I try to balance that out with actually having a fairytale. I read an article about the red and the idea of compatibility. Maybe it’s just not a match. What happens when he’s everything I could have imagined and I’m not much of what he’s looking for? I hate when the truth hurts, but I wish it wasn’t a probability.  I don’t like the idea that something seeming so perfect just isn’t right.

Side note. I think I’m ending project 365. It’s a lot more work than I have time for at the moment. I’ll upload the rest of February or something and leave it be for a while.

Since today, I’ve been roaming the net again and watching some things. Chester See is it-boy of the moment. Loved his little appearances in videos and such, but I like his sound, especially the words. He also did a cover of this one song, which got the comment below.

I dedicate this song to the person who takes my mind off of everything once I look at him. I don’t know who you are yet, but when we fall in love, can this be our song?

I stopped looking when I found it…but I’m so afraid of losing it.