Month: April 2011

General

Fighting

Posted on by jeanneji

lucyyhale 🙂 http://twitpic.com/4mot7n

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” –Plato

This is the latest inspiration of the day. Astoundingly fitting, and so new wallpaper time!

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

I updated the font…I’m a little more content. On a side note. I am so hardcore crushing. There are a few things a happening where things might not be so complicated, although have an alternate ending I wasn’t exactly looking for. May things work out well for everyone, and may I not be the asshole.

0
School

Getting There

Posted on by jeanneji

IMG_20110412_112937

I always find it hard to take a picture of a bruise because it never looks as bad I it does in person. If you see this, it is the result of stealing 15 rolls of toilet paper from school.

On a lighter note, I thing I was successful in co-hosting the Greek Games today. I must say, I’m kind of proud of the glitter-filled water balloons. Free food is always nice too.

Things are getting mad crazy around here though. A lot of class things going on, but on top of that, I need to learn my recital piece (which is much more ugly than anticipated).  I’m looking for a more long term break. I just need some time. Time to breathe.

My mom called yesterday because we finally got an invite for this wedding we all knew about. It is being held the weekend before finals. This is a very important event- I have known this kid and his family since birth (this kid’s mom set up my parents!) but at the same time, I will need all the study time I can get. The wedding deal is a whole day affair, you know?

I hate to think that majority of my life has moved around school (and now that I have this job, I will have less time to dilly dally and will be super lame. Yes, there is the point where I’m supposed to grow up and take on my responsibilities, but at the same time, I partially envy those who aren’t taking life seriously; I’d love to not have to do anything with my life [/sarc](kind of not really).

0
Friends, General

In Good Company

Posted on by jeanneji

School is just getting ridiculous. There is so much work going on and not enough time. No more presentations, but I have my exams (after exam after exam) and the damn piano recital. I’m not ready to play Handel’s Prelude in G Major.

I’m trying not to get too side tracked, but the heavier I fall into work, the more time I need away from it. Like the classic idea, “Study hard and party harder.” I’m really doing my best to keep sane (and not completely give up on school.)

Thank goodness for Chris. I’ve been over there on a semi-regular basis, at least once a week ish. He really is nice, and we have a good time for both being busy people.  This weekend, he asked me for a favor, which I don’t mind doing if I am able to.  It took a little bit, but I was able to find what he was looking for.

IMG_20110409_232652I told him he owed me, and for starters, he offered to make pizza if I hadn’t eaten yet. I’m not turning down free food if it’s already pretty much made. All said and done- it wasn’t bad. Not the absolute best pizza in the world, but still pretty delicious…and mad props for making it entirely from scratch! He found Star Wars on TV and put that on because he says I’m a nerd. Just because I can recite some lines…jeeze. He was giving me crap about that all night, and I kept saying how we didn’t have to watch it (Empire Strikes Back was followed by Return of the Jedi).  Ended up crashing since it was early and I was getting tired. To an extent, I feel bad for spending the night- something about intruding on space, even though he says he’s ok with it. I mean, I crashed on the couch, and he felt bad saying I didn’t have to sleep on the couch and  could have slept on the bed. I don’t know…In that sense, I can’t help but think I’m in the way, but we go back and forth on being really nice and actually not minding.

We had this discussion about boys over the weekend too. I’m starting to feel bad about this whole Chris thing on the side. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy, really nice and we get along great, but it was when I was talking about D that was the issue.

D is the one I possibly L word. the one I want, but even though we don’t have this commitment, how can I still go around with another guy? Should I feel guilty about this? Its so Georgia Peachy, but if I feel so strongly about the one, am I allowed to hang around with another?

0
General

Jealousy

Posted on by jeanneji

With everything and looking back, I need to start doing things that I say or want to do before I end up making regrets. Regrets…that is something I don’t do.

Top of the list is- you guessed it- Dave. I need to write him a letter. Long overdue, among the many other things.  I just hope I’m not too late, that I didn’t miss my chance…

In the time that I drafted this original entry, (it was too close to the last so I held off), There have been a few changes.  I ended up throwing myself out there to D (not in such an extreme sense of all or nothing, but not my usual ways.) A few days weeks ago, I was starting to lose hope in everything that could be. I was ready to hand over this boy that I honestly might just L word to some girl that may or may not even be a threat.

Just last night, I was scouting Yahoo Answers and a girl asked about dealing with jealousy.

Jealousy … refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values [particularly in reference to a human connection]. It is not to be confused with envy.

Envy is best defined as an emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another’s (perceived) superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.

I tend to use the two interchangeably (or at least jealous to mean envious), but I always said my deadly sin was envy.  The thing that I consciously realized last night (and possibly subconscious after D) was that jealousy is self-fulfilling [WikiHow] Because if I believe that I am not good enough and that I don’t have any quality being sought, I change to the point where what was not true then, is.  I could go on trying to make this clear, but I hope you understand.

You are the reason…

0