It’s almost 6am. I haven’t been able to sleep. I got in a lecture, cleaned my room, did some stretches…I can’t sleep. I was starting to feel a little nauseous but I’m a little better now. I’m almost thinking if I don’t get to bed, I’ll make myself a lovely little breakfast. Some eggs and toast, fruit, yogurt. As nice as that sounds, I rather get to sleep.

My body is exhausted, but my mind is running as usual. I can’t seem to get comfortable enough to put my mind at ease. I figured if I’m going to be up, maybe I’ll do something. I used to spend all night fixing up my website. Those were the days. Difference is, I wanted to stay up and did get tired.

Did I mention I’m on new meds? I’m doing a cross taper off the Lexapro and starting the Wellbutrin. Different mechanism, hopefully some better results.

Oh, and did you notice? I accidentally upgraded the theme (which is a no-no since it’s far from the old one) so I had to restore it again and try to get it back where it was. Bad Jeanne.

Earlier, I told Amanda that all I wanted to do was rant about D. She told me to rant away, which I eventually got to. Some concerns were expressed, and I ended up sending her some conversation exchanges he and I had in the past for her perspective.  She has a positive outlook on this strangely stupid situation I’m in, so I’m feeling better about it. I read through some old things and I got the melty feeling, which I do enjoy. I’m just insecure. I’ve never been in a position like this before, I just want it to be real.

I’m wondering if I should just stay up at this point/if I will be able to get up again once I get to sleep. Can the old girl still do it? Who knows. I might be miserable and collapsing if I stay up- but I guess only one way to find out. Alex’s alarm just went off to get up and study before her exam. I don’t hear anything yet- maybe I’ll text her to get up or something

I’m so jealous of the dog right now. She can plop herself down and be asleep within a minute. I wish it were that easy. I wonder if she feels rested though, since she does sleep a lot. I would love to feel rested after a night of sleep. Ooh…I wonder if I make breakfast now, I could get the itis and fall asleep! Mmm…adventure in the works.

Well wrapping things up I guess. Next week is the last week of classes. I have one exam Monday, and then the following week I have 6 finals. I can’t believe it’s already here. So much to do until then. I cannot wait for it to be over. D comes back the 18th- fingers crossed!