Month: February 2013

Health, Technology

Xperience Sony

Posted on by jeanneji

It has been a little while but I think I am back into my phone binge. I haven’t kept up with things for a while, but with the moving to Virginia soon, I was thinking about finally getting a real phone plan. I saw on AT&T’s website that they are anticipating the HTC One, the follow up to the HTC One X (and other letters). It’s pretty nice, but the new HTC Sense interface is a little Windows-like. I’m sure it’s not bad since HTC is a great company, but I looked up what Sony was doing.

Sony Xperia Z.

Xperia Z
Xperia Z, coming soon!

 

This bad boy is so pretty. Given, with all the capabilities and being so new and powerful, it’s a little expensive. As a very stupid move, if I pay off my credit card, I can buy it outright and just make slow payments on it. I would also need to have it shipped from Europe (hooray) or hope for a great deal on eBay.  There’s a nice matching new tablet (also not out yet) but that will have to wait. I really want this new phone. It’s so cool! As soon as I get settled with some things, I am looking to sell off some items and have a little more money. I should work on not having so much sentimental value on objects like my old phones. The values have really depreciated and I won’t make as much back at this point. Still something though.

I applied to get certified for my CPhT so I can find more work once we get to Virginia and the site says it normally takes up to an hour. Up To one hour. It’s been about 24 hours now and I still have not heard back from them yet.  I bet it’s my criminal background check.  Woo. I can’t wait to hear back from them.

I started my Viibryd again. The side effects of coming off the prozac are kicking in though. I am so tired these days and the motivation is pretty low, but I’m hoping the Viibryd kicks in much sooner than later. Here’s to hoping!

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Health

Fiddle Faddle

Posted on by jeanneji

This is so strange. Should things go according to plan, I will be living in Virginia by May. That means there are two months left here. I’m so excited to move on to this next chapter in my life, but it’s strange to be moving away from everything I’ve grown up with.

Right now, my depression is a mess. My latest refill on Prozac I filled at CVS at home (vs. Target in the city) and this is a new manufacturer. Guess what. Allergy rash! I stopped taking it, but have not been taking anything else since it has been maybe two weeks at this point and I am still itchy. This is so frustrating. It put a hold on my exercise (just like last year) since I don’t want to irritate the rash.

I’ve been staying up with Matt lately and it’s peaceful. I went out for pictures with his mom the other day. It wasn’t bad, but my depression is getting to me. I keep comparing myself to everyone else and it makes me feel so terrible inside. His mom has been reading up and knows all this information about her camera (on top of having 2 cameras strapped to her with a bandolier). Then his cousin Chris is this huge photographer and going through his pictures makes me feel like shit. I like photography, but I feel like a fraud next to these people. I don’t know what I am doing. I like to shoot on Auto because adjusting the settings is so time consuming and hard to get just right.

I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others and it’s all in my head, but I can’t stop these thoughts. They’re so pervasive and once I start thinking about it, I get so caught up bringing myself down. I can’t stop looking at these amazing pictures or reading about all the people doing wonderful things with their lives. I want to believe that it will motivate me to make a change and actually do something about myself, but then I just sink into this terrible mood and hate myself even more.

I am trying not to cry; trying not to take everything so personally. I get to see my doctor in a little while so hopefully we have a plan. This just gets so hard and I have trouble being around people. Thinking about it makes me sad, and I abhor crying in front of people. I keep on thinking about how everyone else lives their lives and how it takes so much effort for me to keep it together. That is not to say I’m the only one going through something or having a hard time, but just by appearances, it seems like I’m the only one who can’t deal with life.

I’d like to think I’m trying. I might be biased though.

Ugly Duck
One of the swans that came up on the frozen lake
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Health, Home

The Next Stage

Posted on by jeanneji

This is so hard to keep up with. I go in and out of motivation to keep up, but I have so much to catch up on!

First off, Matt and I have come a long way. We’re almost on our one year (my first! haha) and Valentine’s is also coming up.

I don’t recall if I mentioned it in the last one, but I kind of ruined some of his plans of proposing by calling him out, so he said I’d have to wait until at least the one year point.  I took him to Milan J to show him the ring I want. It’s beautiful, and guess what. He liked it!  We started the process of moving out of the apartment and if we can get out of the lease early, he said he’s taking the money to buy my ring. Now he’s just planning a way to do it without me catching on.

We find out on the 11th if he will get matched and that will tell us if we end up in Scranton, Virginia or West Virginia. Should he not get matched, he’s getting scrambled into who knows where. But as soon as we find out, I am finished this house hunting.

I’ve been also trying to keep away from wedding planning because I get so caught up in it all. I like nice things and I just want to go wild. It’s so exciting, but we don’t have the resources to do everything I want. I need to tone it down since I just take everything too far. I find out the best ideas or even the coolest ways to propose, but that only limits him on how he can do it since I’ve seen more ideas than he has.

I’m currently sitting around watching Archer season 3. I’ve forgotten how nice graphics looks with my box.  I’ve had it here on my desk for so long since I don’t want to carry it around.

Speaking of office, I’ve been thinking about my career. I really like the idea of being able to work from home. Some reason, if I don’t find my way into medical school, I have considered a computer role. Getting back into webdesign or or graphic design perhaps. I love the flexibility of working on my own time and if we had kids, I could spend the time to raise them, take to recitals and practice!

Haha. Kids. Who knows where I am going. I just really like the idea of my future more than actually acting on it. It’s easier to dream. I’ve been going to the gym lately, but it’s so tough. Keeping up for slow progress is not very encouraging. My heart is better and I don’t get winded as easily, but I can’t stay motivated. I weigh myself and it goes up. My pants are starting to get tight, even though I am doing my work of exercising. I just hope this is the muscle growth phase before the fat starts to melt.

I’m trying. This is so difficult for me.

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