I’m currently sitting on the train right now; it’s Tuesday the 1st of December. I just got out of my physics exam at 2ish, so it’s pretty chill now. The past week has been kind of interesting, but not too exciting. I hope everyone had a good holiday.
On Thanksgiving, I went out to Peace Valley Park and took some pictures. I got up at about 4:30 on Black Friday to get to Best Buy with my brother. He wanted a game. I just happened to pick up 4 seasons of House (I’m awful with money). Dinner with the family was pretty typical.
My phone’s been pretty dead lately- no calls or texts. I don’t want to say I’m completely dependent on it, but at the same time, it does get a little lonely sometimes. Going from one extreme to the next is just an adjustment.
Anyway. GaGa. This Thursday, December 3rd, 2009- I shall be attending the Lady GaGa concert with a group of fantastic kids. I’m pretty excited. I spent last night watching a bunch of interviews with her on YouTube- I think we could be friends 🙂 Everyone has some outfit, which was mandatory. Haha. I have a tuxedo dress, sequin jacket, mini top hat, fish nets, opera gloves, mini bow-tie. Cane optional 😛 I wonder if I can find a monocle XD That’d be a little much. I’m still tweaking some things and finishing some things, but hopefully everything is grand.
I’ve been updating StarFall if you’re interested, and some things in my Photo gallery. My dream log has been pretty slacking. I haven’t been sleeping much in the past few days…weeks? Maybe a good long while I say. This past week I averaged about 2hours a sleep per night, and I’d be up possibly 24+ when I am up too. Something’s not right.
This may drag for a while. I have a lot running on my mind, and I’m not sure what I’m doing anymore.
I’ve been thinking a lot about where I’m going in life. I never chose this path for myself; I let my friend pick it for me since I don’t know what I want. there are things that I enjoy doing, but i don’t have anything that drives me. like, GaGa knew what she wanted to do when she was young- that was her calling. Nothing calls to me, and if it does, then I don’t hear it. I’ve always been looking for that one thing that i was meant to do.
My relationship with school is pretty selfish. it’s becoming a love/hate thing. the school itself is great. The education that you get is quality, but my problem is that I don’t want this like some people do. in the sense that if you choose a job you love, you’ll never have to work a day in your life. if this is something you want to do, it’s not as much a hassle because you want to be here doing what you do. I’m struggling because there are so many other things that i want to do, and i feel like it’s more a sacrifice of myself to put the time and effort into school.
i like the things i learn here, but I’m afraid that’s not enough to keep me here. something about being here puts me on a different set of standards- into a different world that i want to be apart of, but i don’t know if i really belong. Is there some other person out there more deserving of my seat? I learn things but I don’t retain so well. Is it my method in learning, or is my memory just shot? It hurts me when I know I’ve learned something, but I cannot recall any of it. So what if I pull the grade- that won’t mean jack shit once I’m out working and need to know this information. Would it be better to get C’s in class but have full retention and understanding?