D is headed out tomorrow- earlyish. Ideally, I’d meet him at a pit stop along the way just so I can see him before he’s gone. This would be the first time I’ve seen him on the east coast since I met him (2+ years ago)…and also the first time since about January 6 of this year. I’m optimistic in the sense that I’d kill to see this kid…but I’m doubtful that it’ll work out since my master plans always fall apart.

There’ was something I wanted to show him. This boy lives and breathes Philadelphia; there’s a magnificent view of it at night from a bridge by my place. I would have loved to take him there- but there was just never time. I took pictures of it once night, and I just wrote an email to him and attached the pictures. A little something for going away.  By the end of the email, I felt like I was writing a farewell. I know that this isn’t goodbye- it never is. It just bums me out like I’ll never see him again.  I probably should be so attached or care this much, but I do.

I’ve pretty much come down to this decision right now.  I’m dropping the topic. It’s the only good thing I can do right now. I’m always pushing topics and ideas to see him. I’m sure some would say that if he wanted to see me or something, he’d make some time or maybe have a little more effort. Any other situation I would agree, but this is different. I honestly believe that. I’m not hanging on to the high hope that I’ll see him any time soon (as much as I would love that), so in a sense maybe the email was a farewell. Farewell for now. If he happens to say something tomorrow, then I’ll be ecstatic, but whatever. Things will happen if they’re supposed to happen. Things have a time, and I’m going to kick patience in the ass.

Side note. I broke the left click button on my laptop again. It works when I push on it, but it doesn’t spring back up as a “button” anymore. This is the second time the exact thing happened. The only thing different is that my computer is no longer under warranty.  Damn broken rubbers.