Venturestein’d

Posted on 13 July 201513 July 2015 by jeanneji

SHE LIVES! Hello hello. I can finally say that I’ve been hard at work with some things. Portfolio is coming together nicely and I cleaned up my main site a ton. Overall, I’m pretty satisfied with it

I’m currently halfway through my master’s program and that is keeping me busy (in addition to the job search). Hopefully this momentum continues *fingers crossed*

What else is going on? Gammer (I swear, he’s like my spirit animal) and the gang have been working on some amazing stuff that I’ve been listening to the last week or so. This really brings me back – check out his SoundCloud for a free download of his latest mixtape! There are so many good songs on there (then add in what Darren Styles has been working on!) HTID, fo realz, yo. UK Hardcore moves my soul.

As I stand here, right here I am taken by the view
Leaves me speechless, I’m overwhelmed being here with you
Can you feel my heartbeat, can you read the signs, this is our destiny
You said “don’t jump too soon, baby, what will be will be”

I feel I’m on top of the world tonight, with you
The stars all shine so bright tonight, when I’m with you
And I don’t wanna come down, I don’t wanna come down
I wanna stay up here tonight
I feel I’m on top of the world tonight, with you

– Darren Styles, Dougal & Gammer feat. Hannah Faulkner – Top Of The World ; (Alive)

Food, General

Food Blog

Posted on 6 March 201313 July 2015 by jeanneji

Hello! I figured it would be weird to have food recipes on my personal blog where it jumps from my crying streaks to pretzels. You can find it ~~here~~! // [7/13/2015 – updated link to new website since renovation!]

Anyway, today is my last day up in Hazleton. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and work this weekend. I haven’t been there in a while, but I’m ready for my income I suppose. This is tough. There’s not much of an update here. I’ve been cooking a lot, nothing new to report on. Matt started his urology rotation so I don’t see him as often now. Oh well. Sacrifices for his career. It’s only a month.

I started playing Age of Empires III again. I might start up another game. Let’s go!

General, Health

Venture Christmas

Posted on 17 December 2012 by jeanneji

This year I’m making some venture brother speed shirts. I made one and I have 4 more to go. I was able to find a super nice lady on etsy to embroider for me. I’m excited to get those back.

I’m currently sitting in Ardmore Acura getting an oil change, which was long overdue. They’re pretty nice here and I had a special that gave me a discount so I’m happy.

My student loans came due this month and I am dying. I was avoiding it but now it’s here. I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m not out of my funk yet, but I need to start working. I might look into a job in the city for now to get more hours in and hopefully money.

I hate to be so cliché but I want to start exercising. Matt’s mom is getting me an iPod Nano with Nike+. I was looking at new running shoes too. I want to do this right. I NEED to stop complaining and get off my ass. I’m usually more talk and ideas but I need to set this in action. A girl from the frat has been on a huge workout kick and Lenny told me she looks so good. She apparently lost 50” off her body! That’s ridiculous. I just can’t believe she got that done during school. Lenny agrees with me that it sounds absurd.

It can be done. I need to do this for myself and stop feeling bad.

My brother got me sick so I’m in the middle of recovery. It is the worst reason to not do anything. The most useless I could ever be. I’m fighting it with lots of drugs though. Lots of drugs.

Keep fighting. Keep fighting.

No matter how far, run for all you’re worth. Run.

General, Love

Following Up

Posted on 12 November 2012 by jeanneji

I have an appointment with my doctor later today. Matt thinks that I’ve been making an improvement on Prozac, but I can’t say I agree. I am willing to keep going while I’m on it just to see if anything else changes.

We’ve been talking about the idea of marriage lately. He is working on prepping for his boards again so I went out and tried on fancy rings. A part of me wishes I hadn’t because they’re so nice and I know for a fact that they’re out of my reach. I’ve always yelled at the girls on Say Yes to the Dress for trying on something out of budget, but I fell victim to this. I must say, Cartier is luxurious. I tried on a plain princess solitaire there; it’s amazing how they execute it. The lady helping me (I have her card, but I forget her name) described the perfect mounting where the stone is nearly lifted up on an invisible setting. It’s true! It was gorgeous. I don’t know how else to put it.

I went to Milanj Diamonds since they carry my Verragio line:

It’s simple, but has a touch of elegance beyond a plain band. I really like it. They had it with the round stone in the store. Jerry was really nice in helping me with the selection. There are so many. Milanj would win “Most Dazzling Store” on my trip to KOP. I also went into Bailey Banks and Biddle (I think that’s the name of it). Danica helped me through a lot of the selections. They’re all really nice. I just don’t know for sure if there’s something more I want out of my ring. It’s a pretty big decision. It’s so hard to visualize it if it’s not sitting right there on my finger. I might like something on more or I might not. Who knows.

Matt’s mom is flying home today and I’m meeting up with them for dinner after my appointment.

General, Love

Suppression

Posted on 4 November 2012 by jeanneji

I never expected my life to get to this point. I never expected to be where I am today.

I was in Pharmacy School. I was bright and thought there was this boy. But now that boy is seeing someone else, I’m not in school anymore and none of my shit is together.

Given, I met someone else. Absolutely amazing- but I might still have some repressed feelings that I haven’t dealt with. I don’t think I will do anything stupid, the thought just crosses my mind whenever I talk with him again.

I’ve never been one for addressing my feelings, but that’s probably what got me in this emotional mess. I don’t like dealing with the truth because it hurts. I try to be strong but I’m so fragile it’s disgusting.

I don’t have any doubts about Matt. I’m his queen. I’m just afraid I’ll always wonder what if things were different between me and Dave. That probably sounds like I still have feelings for him since I shouldn’t care if I have someone better. Who knows. The thought exists, is my point. Even still, I find myself jealous. I’d rationalize that by saying I had known him for a a bit and there was a lot of history- at least on my end. I was so committed- probably too much- and that was the first time I really poured my heart out to someone.

There’s that song on my iPod,

“You were my first and worst love”

That’s kind of the way I feel about things. That first one will always be with you. He’s a good kid and we get along grand, but I’m still moving past the history. I want to try and be friends but I’m not sure if it’s possible or a good idea. The last thing I want to do is hurt Matt. He doesn’t deserve that. He loves me and I’m not going to destroy one of the best things that has ever happened to me because I’m having trouble letting go.

Most of the time it’s nothing bad. I don’t worry about it. It’s when we start texting for a longer period of time that I start to remember and get a little jealous. Side note, this girl’s BFF in college went to high school with me. Small fucking world.

I can’t help but think that maybe the news broke me so much and led to my educational demise. Maybe I was headed there anyway. I don’t know, but it could possibly be causative.

I pray I don’t ruin everything. I hope I can figure out what’s best.

Scribe