The past week plus, about, I have been in the worst mood. I want to blame Aunt Flo, but after yesterday, I know it’s not just her work. She gets me moody, but not like this. I have noticed (even Kelsey has told me), but every couple of months, I get just horribly depressed, down, mad at the world and pissy. I can’t explain why, and I can’t predict when, I just know that it happens and I feel awful. These are the days that lead me to suspect something wrong, something that’s much deeper.
I talked to my mom yesterday. She told me that a friend is in the hospital. Blood poisoning, coma. They don’t know really what to expect at this point, but we’re all just praying for the best. That really added to my day. That just broke me- I started crying unbelievably, and everything just felt awful. I couldn’t study (which I really need to) but how could I focus in that state of mind?
I did for a brief moment chat with Dave, and even though it wasn’t anything special at all- probably the lamest chat, just having him there made me feel better. I’m gonna be super miserable should that end tragically. But ok. I’m a wreck. We’ve established that. I avoided my friends here. I want alone time, without the need to worry about exams. I’m curling up after the exam if I’m still feeling this way.
Anyway. I really want to get back into blogging here. I know it’s a rough chance, but it’s worth a shot. I renewed, right? Next 2 weeks, after exams and papers, I’ll be on spring break. 10-11 cities in 14 days. I should have my computer on me (to upload all my pictures so my memory card doesn’t get full), so maybe there will be time for something. Maybe.
I’ve been having a lot of trouble lately in general, actually. In the middle of the night, I wake up, and then I feel myself start to burn up. I start sweating and it’s a terrible feeling. Food has also not been my friend. Well, it has never agreed with me, really- but lately, I can’t seem to control myself. If it’s there, I’ll eat it. I don’t get the “full” feeling, and my mouth just needs to chew. I crave texture, it is not my stomach that wants anything. Gum is ok, but not satisfactory. Rahhh.
Ok. Laney just stopped by, and I should probably get back studying. STUDY STUDY…ew, who am I now, Dave?