Tag: exercise

General, Health

Venture Christmas

Posted on by jeanneji

This year I’m making some venture brother speed shirts. I made one and I have 4 more to go. I was able to find a super nice lady on etsy to embroider for me. I’m excited to get those back.

I’m currently sitting in Ardmore Acura getting an oil change, which was long overdue. They’re pretty nice here and I had a special that gave me a discount so I’m happy.

My student loans came due this month and I am dying. I was avoiding it but now it’s here. I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m not out of my funk yet, but I need to start working. I might look into a job in the city for now to get more hours in and hopefully money. 

I hate to be so cliché but I want to start exercising. Matt’s mom is getting me an iPod Nano with Nike+. I was looking at new running shoes too. I want to do this right. I NEED to stop complaining and get off my ass. I’m usually more talk and ideas but I need to set this in action. A girl from the frat has been on a huge workout kick and Lenny told me she looks so good. She apparently lost 50” off her body! That’s ridiculous. I just can’t believe she got that done during school. Lenny agrees with me that it sounds absurd.

It can be done. I need to do this for myself and stop feeling bad.

My brother got me sick so I’m in the middle of recovery. It is the worst reason to not do anything. The most useless I could ever be. I’m fighting it with lots of drugs though. Lots of drugs.

Keep fighting. Keep fighting.

Depression

No matter how far, run for all you’re worth. Run.

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General

The L Word

Posted on by jeanneji

Ok. I haven’t kept up with the entries, but I’ve been pretty good with my routine. I have been more tired and sleeping in more with Matt, but I am still exercising. Ugh. I can’t believe I’m actually exercising. I’ve been playing with Kenobi a lot lately. I went for a bike ride and even left Eagle Rock.

The big thing about this post is that I think it happened last night. I was laying with Matt in bed before bed and he got up to take a shower. But in the moment that he was standing there drinking his bottle of water, I felt something. I think it’s that attachment. I know he’s been thinking I would slip up and say the L word since 5 months ago, but I honestly never “felt” the L word until last night. I wanted to be sure, and I wanted to know. It was easier for him since the feeling struck early on. I just had a fear that I would never feel that way. I know he’s amazing and I care about him a lot, but I needed that feeling before I could/would say it.

Just now I was texting him after the elliptical and there was that missing feeling inside. He’s not just someone. Kelsey texted me the other day and she asked how we were. She said it seemed like we were getting really serious. I didn’t really get that since she doesn’t know much about our relationship, but I’d say we’re serious.

One of my biggest fears was that I still had feelings for Dave, and I might always kind of wonder what that would have been, but we’re just really good friends now, I’d say. He’s happy so I should be happy for him. I have Matt now so I shouldn’t have these thoughts or feelings, but I still do to an extent- not that I would leave him, it’s just something I still think about. I just hate having experiences that involve Dave because I feel like you shouldn’t bring up another boy like that just because of the history.

This is my last night here until I have to go home to work. It’s been nice not doing anything and just kind of working on myself. Given, I think the prozac is cause of my exhaustion, I am taking care of myself.

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General, Health

Day Two

Posted on by jeanneji

So it’s day two here at the house. I did a half hour on the elliptical, with no pre-set program. I watched The Price is Right during the session. Then they have a Gold’s Gym resistance band machine. Like many females, I’m not really upper body built. I worked my bi’s, tri’s, lats and delts. it’s a pretty cool machine. I watched Emeril’s Table during that one. I took my shower and took the time to groom myself kind of. Then I went and got Kenobi to come out from under Matt’s bed and sit outside with me for a little bit. I have no idea what to do with the dog since she’s got her electric fence collar on and we can’t go for a walk. I was about to grab a snack and when I came back she was eating! This dog is known for not eating so I said I wouldn’t eat and tempt her with people food if she was going to eat. She finished the bowl. I’m really excited.

Now it’s a little past noon and I have no idea what to do with myself. I was thinking about going for a walk or something outside but I don’t have a house key; I don’t want to leave the place unlocked either. Maybe there’s a key somewhere. I can’t get the garage door to work for me so that’s not something I want to rely on and then get trapped outside.

It’s so peaceful here. I have the house to myself today. I wish I had some project/crafting thing or just something I wanted to do. Matt thinks it’s flo’s fault for my tiredness, but I’m not so sure. I don’t recall her being like this. We’ll see in a day or so though.

Ps. Did I mention how bad the internet is out here? Ugh.

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Drugs, Health, Home

Emergency Month

Posted on by jeanneji

Here goes. It’s been a long time since I’ve updated (not as long as I’ve ever gone though). To update things where we left off, I have decided not to go back to school. I just started prozac a few days ago, and I have no idea what I’m doing.

There hasn’t been too much more beyond that. I keep feeling terrible about myself but I’m trying to change that. On a fun note, I had some extra lobster meat (yeah, more lobster than I knew what to do with) so I pulled up a recipe for Lobster Mac & Cheese.

Mmmm...

This upcoming month, Matt will be living at home to do his emergency medicine rotation. He asked if I would go with him and spend the month up there. I couldn’t sleep last night but I was also thinking of all the things I could do. His brother will be at school and then he, his mother and step-dad will all be at work so I will have the place to myself. I would like to make this my opportunity to do something good for myself. They have an elliptical and resistance band machine in the basement, but they also live on a resort so there’s opportunity for me to go out for runs, biking and such. There’s a pool but I’m not a fan of the public, and you need a membership for the actual gym there. I am hoping that I can pretend someone reads this and upload my progress to help myself stay on track and get myself back. It’s a lot easier to imagine things than actually do them. Maybe I’ll read a book on the trail and take some pictures while I’m out there.

I decided against the humiliating option to take a picture of myself to see the before and after. I might just take the scale with me.

Speaking of reading, I’ve been on the reddit funnies a lot. It’s a good way to pass the time, honestly. There’s a mix of the immature witty sarcastic AND intelligent humor. Ok. So I need to start packing and find food. I’ll come back to update again later.

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