It’s almost that time again. November has always been a tough month for me after my dad. It’s weird to be celebrating D‘s birthday as such a big happy event and then get to the end and be super depressed. School is extremely busy- as expected. I have one more exam on Friday before I’m more or less free for break. Thanksgiving. Then 7 years. Wow. Has it really been that long? The more I go to therapy the more I find that event is the root of many of my issues. I know it was big. I just never imagined it would take such a huge toll- now.

D‘s coming home for the holiday. Not too long, but here. Maybe working out a visit? Doubt it but it’s always possible 🙂 Sometimes I get crazy ideas like being invited over and meeting the family. HAH. I have a nice Christmas outfit in mind 😛

The problem is…lately I’ve been having dreams about Sean. I saw him the other night (I usually don’t see him ever) and it definitely made me smile inside. Amanda knows about my super crush and I told her about this. She asked what I would do if he ever “put the moves” on me. I honestly don’t know. They’re both fantastic people and I would be so luck to have either of them. But do I have to pick?

What I do know is that I love my dog. Haha. She’s so freaking cute and my phone has so many pictures of her. She’s my lucky lady.

Oh. My meds were upped last week. I don’t think it’s really doing anything for me, but I have a few weeks until my next appt. I wonder what the next option is. I’m starting to think that it’s not something meds will fix, but I need to change my mindset and just how I am. That’s not to say it will be a simple task, but I’m not sure medication is the right answer.

Ugh. There’s a lot of food around me. I feel like I’ve been eating for two the past week or so. I hope it’s just a part of being a girl and that time of the month. I really hope. My thighs are looking huge. I hate being a girl sometimes. A lot of the time.