With everything and looking back, I need to start doing things that I say or want to do before I end up making regrets. Regrets…that is something I don’t do.
Top of the list is- you guessed it- Dave. I need to write him a letter. Long overdue, among the many other things. I just hope I’m not too late, that I didn’t miss my chance…
In the time that I drafted this original entry, (it was too close to the last so I held off), There have been a few changes. I ended up throwing myself out there to D (not in such an extreme sense of all or nothing, but not my usual ways.) A few days weeks ago, I was starting to lose hope in everything that could be. I was ready to hand over this boy that I honestly might just L word to some girl that may or may not even be a threat.
Just last night, I was scouting Yahoo Answers and a girl asked about dealing with jealousy.
Jealousy … refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values [particularly in reference to a human connection]. It is not to be confused with envy.
Envy is best defined as an emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another’s (perceived) superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.
I tend to use the two interchangeably (or at least jealous to mean envious), but I always said my deadly sin was envy. The thing that I consciously realized last night (and possibly subconscious after D) was that jealousy is self-fulfilling [WikiHow] Because if I believe that I am not good enough and that I don’t have any quality being sought, I change to the point where what was not true then, is. I could go on trying to make this clear, but I hope you understand.
Things have been going pretty well since I last posted. I don’t even remember when that was. But over July 4th, I drove my mom down to Annapolis to visit one of her friends. They did their chatting while I kinda lounged around the apartment for a bit. I got into this huge argument and falling out with some guy I just met (most ridiculous thing I have ever done. It was like arguing with a rock) BUTTT it was during that time I started chatting with this one kid Dave that I kinda met about a month before hand? It’s a weird circumstance, but he’s a realll sweetheart and me likes him 🙂
Moving along. Between my txts and hanging out with Jenn, there really isn’t much going on. I went to Color Me Mine (pics later or something) and that was cool. I bought a few books (started one tonight) and trying to not be too anti-productive. I went to Missy’s grad party yesterday too! Lots of people I have not seen in a long time, so that was most fun.
I officially sold my phone today; shipped and everything. That money is going towards next month’s rent or my mom’s birthday present. Haha. I need some income soon. But that aside, I have a few field trips planned before my funds are completely wiped.
I should really do something more with my lazy fat ass.
On the 25th of June, 2009, our world cried. At first, we lost Farrah Fawcett, but later to find that we had lost our King of Pop, Michael Jackson. The day began with me prepping for my final exam in Microbiology (eww, gross) and just getting out of there. This is the official beginning of my summer, since I only had a week off between the end of the semester and the start of classes again. SUMMER, HERE I COME!
I left and went home. My mother’s birthday was the day before, so my brother and I gave her a box from Kays 🙂
Birthday Ring
With this ring, I have also decided that I am selling my beloved phone. It was a great time we had together, but financially it is not in my best interest.
We took my mom out for dinner after the gifting. I actually ran into Rob and his family while we were there 😛 That’s when we first heard about MJ.
So the day was great up until that news.
The next day was pretty exciting. Besides listening to Michael Jackson music all day with Jenn, we ran errands and went down to my house at school to pick up some things. From there, we went to Joji‘s ^^
I’ve been hearing about Joji since about 2006, so it was pretty exciting to meet him. He’s a half-Jap amazing jerk. Haha. He spent the last year in Japan, and so I envy him to an extent.
We started off by playing Floating Candy, but just switched to Kings. That was going pretty until towards the end of the 2nd round. Jenn ran off to the bathroom, and as she did that, I started feeling kinda sick and left the room. Jenn unfortunately locked the bathroom door and I ended up puking right there >_< I tried so hard to keep it down. I eventually got in, with only a handful of what was left, and finished my business and cleaned up. I sobered up pretty much right there. I just felt AWFUL for doing that to Joji‘s floor (and he even cleaned it up). That made me feel terrible and I helped him finish up the cleaning as Jenn was hanging over the toilet.
That aside, we asian bonded. I’m his bitch :O I like him. He’s my new BFF.
I ended up getting to bed at around 3 something in the morning, and then getting up at 6:30. Eventually, we made our way to IHOP which was yummy, but Jenn still wasn’t feeling well so it wasn’t as fun as it might have been. Joji drew a fantastic picture on the back of the placemat (it is officially framed, btw) and then we hung around for a bit before leaving. It was a pretty great time, in my opinion. Good times with great people.
Being there though, all the little Japanese things Joji had brought back so many memories. It’s sparked my love of Japan again. That night, Joji was speaking with his mother (who is where he gets his asian from) in <<Nihongo>> and that was seriously the best eargasm I’ve had in a long time. I was laying on the floor of the bathroom at the time and literally rolled over towards the door to listen. I wish I were fluent enough to hold a surprise Japanese conversation. Haha. Watashi wa neji desu ^________^ But yeah, I’ve been listening to all my T.M. Revolution, Iceman and rest of my J-Pop collection since and it just feels so right. Thank you, for bringing me back.
All I do now a days is hang out with Jenn. That’s what happened last summer too. We’re the only jobless ones and get along fantastically, so why not. We went down to the city to visit the kids at orientation. Met up with Jake and got some free food. Then met up with Janine and eventually trekked our way back home. I have to go back down in the morning to see my advisor, and maybe go to the Crayola Factory with Jenn, Kelsey and Devin? We’ll see.
I’m working on a new album too. I like the way the NextGen gallery works with WordPress, but the function isn’t as friendly as my other one (I’m just more used to it) and there are some features that I can configure on that one that I can’t here. Check it out! Like everything else, it’s a work in progress.
So I have successfully complete my first year of college. About 3 weeks ago, now. I had a week off and I started my summer classes u_u I have an exam and a lab practical on Thursday, and I’ve been terribly distracted.
I have a need for technology. I feel out of the loop if I’m not up to date. One of my larger vices is cell phones x_x Reflecting back, I’ve had *counts*7 phones? I think that’s about right. Always hunting and dreaming, Sony had this phone that was in the works for the longest time. How I craved that piece of art.
Sony Ericsson Xperia X1.
Well it is officially in the mail and makes phone #8. I keep looking up mods and all the fun things about this phone. I hope it’s as great as they say!
With that, I should really get to my studies since my exam is in…um, 2 days 🙁 Wish me luck. I have tons of crazy updates to add later!
