I say it all the time. I’m losing my mind. I always am though. I have this somewhat big exam at 1 that I don’t care for. I’ve been going to therapy. I’ve got a lot on my mind.

Lenny wished for a clingy dog. We got her. I love her, but I think that the part of myself that gets lonely puts all the love I have to give towards this dog which in turn makes her the clingy dog she is. But that also being said, I just have so much to give. I get so concerned that the D situation will end horribly (worst case- there’s another girl ), I’ve been talking to James again, and I just saw Sean. I just want to be held, feel wanted, special. I’m asking a lot, probably. I’m just tired of being like this.

Good things come to those who wait. I’m waiting. I have no other choice.

I’m in the market for a TV for my room down here in the city. I can’t wait to go shopping. I’m done with school.

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Ok. So I drafted that during a class yesterday. I’m feeling better. I chatted with D yesterday and he says he’ll be around for his birthday. I’m so excited. This makes year 3 of celebrating his birthday It’s those little moment that make me think maybe I am special. I sent his box today. It’s nothing big because I have some huge plans in the works. Besides, he’s not looking for much. I just hope my other plans go through. It’ll be so freaking baller, you have nooo idea!

Hell, if it doesn’t work for his birthday I can try for Christmas. Amanda thinks there is something special. I hope this is something and not in my head. I get closer to screaming out the L word (not lesbians) every day. I just want to tell people.